Effective communication

Staying engaged while living with dementia

This video offers helpful tips for communicating with someone living with dementia. Small changes in your communication can significantly improve understanding, support good moods, and lead to smoother interactions.

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Ensure the person can see you. Sit or kneel at eye level or lower.

Make eye contact.

Physical contact can also help some people. Assure they know you are their before you touch them.

Check hearing aids. Assure they are charged and properly fitted.

Minimise background noise.

Speak clearly not loudly. Speak more slowly and enunciate.

Rephrase if needed.

Use gestures.

Try writing it down.

Be patient and wait for responses.

Respond and engage with what they are expressing even if it does not make sense to you.

Listen to their tone and match their energy.

Do not correct or invalidate what they are telling you.

Try "Really? Can you tell me more about that?"

Avoid speaking over a person's head to others, especially if it is about them.

Include them in conversations.

Let them lead and involve them in decisions as much as possible.

Support a rich and active social life.

In addition to what we presented in the video, here are some more useful tips for communicating with someone with dementia

Good lighting: Make sure there’s enough light so they can clearly see your facial expressions, helping them feel more connected.

Use “I” statements: Avoid “Do you remember?” Instead, use “I” statements like, “I had a lovely lunch with bagels. Do you like bagels?” to take the pressure off memory.

One thing at a time: Try to focus on one activity or conversation at a time, as multitasking can feel overwhelming.

Mirror actions: When demonstrating tasks (like brushing teeth), show how it’s done on yourself to provide a clear example.

Ask closed questions: To make choices easier, use questions with specific options (“Would you like tea or coffee?”) instead of open ones (“What would you like to drink?”)

Repeat back: Repeating what they say shows you’re listening and gives you time to respond thoughtfully.

Value presence: Even if conversation is difficult, simply being present—sitting together and smiling—can be deeply comforting.

Meet our experts

Thessa Verwolf

Thessa is the Relationship-Centred Care Coordinator, facilitating workshops on communication, relationship-building, and dementia care for team members within Nightingale Hammerson. Additionally, alongside the psychology team, she runs relative peer support groups, helping families navigate care with empathy and compassion. Previously, she worked as an Engagement Lead, where she supported the social and emotional well-being of individuals living with advanced dementia. With a background in English Literature and publishing, and currently pursuing an MA in Psychology, Thessa brings a unique blend of skills and expertise to her role. She is especially passionate about non-verbal communication, sensory engagement, and Namaste Care.

Arielle Rostant

Arielle’s love for supporting positive and fulfilling relationships has led her from being a teacher, to training as a Drama and Movement Therapist to, since 2021, working in Nightingale Hammerson.

Currently completing a MSc at UCL in Clinical Mental Health, with a speciality in Dementia, Arielle hopes that her work can support older people to continue living engaged and fulfilling lives no matter their care needs.

Padraic Garrett

Head of Engage

Padraic, with over 25 years of experience in the care industry, has held senior leadership positions in both care homes and day centres. This dual perspective gives him a unique understanding of the challenges faced by both frontline staff and senior management.

Padraic holds a master’s degree in person-centred dementia care and is a qualified Executive Coach and Mentor (ILM Level 7). He has an ILM post-graduate certificate in Leadership and Management. He joined Engage in 2021, having worked closely with the company as a customer from its earliest days.

Andrew Goodwin

Engage Service Manager

Andrew has been a deaf awareness trainer for over 25 years and has over 50 years’ first-hand experience living with hearing loss. Working in the charity sector since 2003, Andrew has trained and supported hundreds of volunteers and given medical and psychological support to thousands of people with all types of hearing loss.

For 4 years, he worked at Deafness Research UK, increasing the awareness of hearing loss by delivering hearing screening and supporting the Bionic Ear Show with over 150,000 audience members across the UK. In 2016, he was instrumental in the set up of Engage (formerly Hearing Matters in Care project), developing the training package, polices and reaching out to care homes as well as running hearing aid maintenance clinics across North London.

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