Alan grew up in Dulwich before moving to Wembley with his wife, Sheila. In 1988, the couple returned to South London to care for their ageing parents. They settled in East Ewell, where they built their life together.
As Sheila’s health began to decline, Alan became her full-time carer. Over the years, she lost both her sight and hearing and lived with cancer and a serious heart condition. Alan devoted himself completely to looking after Sheila with love and compassion, often at the expense of his own health.
“I knew deep down I wasn’t well myself, but I had to be strong to look after my Sheila,” Alan said. “She passed away last year due to heart complications. She was 89 when she died.”
After Sheila died, Alan remained at home alone. Although it wasn’t a major shock after several years of illness, the emotional and physical impact of caring for his wife so beautifully took a profound toll on him.
“Everything just stopped working,” he explained. “I couldn’t speak for some time. They called it trauma.”
Everyday tasks became a challenge and Alan even struggled with handwriting, managing only a slight scribble with a pen. Although he remained at home for a short while, it soon became clear he could no longer cope living on his own.
Alan’s son, Mathew, who was visiting from Thailand, suggested a period of respite care at Nightingale House. Alan stayed on Osha Household for two months and with the support of the care teams, regained enough strength and confidence to return home.
“I love the care teams on Osha Household!” he announced. “They worked hard to get me back to a good state of health so that I could go home.”
However, once Alan was back at home, he found it increasingly difficult to manage on his own. After a short time, he returned to Nightingale House as a permanent Resident on Wine Household.
“I’m very happy to be here. The care teams are very kind,” he said. “I’m fairly independent, but they always keep an eye on me, checking to see whether I’m alright and if I need anything.”
Alan particularly enjoys the discussion groups led by students from the psychology team. He appreciates having the space to talk about things that are on his mind.
“I find it cathartic,” he said. “It really helps me.”
At mealtimes, he enjoys sitting with Residents Bobbie and Frankie whose companionship has become an important part of daily life at Nightingale House.
Alan had always dreamt of becoming a mechanical engineer, but his parents were against this career path. Instead, he channelled his passion into restoring classic cars, including 1932 and 1954 Wolseleys.
“When the arthritis took hold, I couldn’t manage to hold the tools, so I had to give up. But I am still the Vice President of the Worseley Register Club,” Alan declared.
Today, Alan continues to use his creativity and skill in a new way, through pottery sessions at Nightingale House.
“Now I make lovely pots instead,” he said proudly.
