Alan grew up in Herne Hill and was a member of Brixton shul. Early married life and first home was in Wembley before a 1970 move to Surrey. Alan still is a member of Sutton shul where his children were bar and bat-mitzvah.
In 2004 Alan and Sheila moved into a bungalow near Epsom, remaining busy with gardening and his vintage cars hobby.
As Sheila’s health began to decline, Alan became her full-time carer. Over the years, she lost both her sight and hearing and lived with cancer and a serious heart condition. Alan devoted himself completely to looking after Sheila with love and compassion, often at the expense of his own health.
“I knew deep down I wasn’t well myself, but I had to be strong to look after my Sheila,” Alan said. “She passed away last year due to heart complications. She was 89 when she died.”
After Sheila died, Alan returned home and his son Matthew moved in with him. Although Sheila’s passing wasn’t unexpected after several years of illness, the emotional and physical impact of caring for his wife so loyally took a profound toll on him.
“Everything just stopped working,” he explained. “I could hardly eat or take my meds. They called it trauma. I have very little recall of this painful period.”
Alan was in and out of Epsom hospital three times in a month. Everyday basic tasks had become a challenge and Alan needed close care from his son at home. They both decided Nightingale was hopefully the best option.
Alan stayed on Osha Household for nine weeks and with the support of the care teams, regained enough strength and confidence to return home, living with his son.
“I love the care teams on Osha Household!” he announced. “They worked hard to get me back to a good state of health so that I could go home.”
Once Alan was back home, he regained a level of independence, even driving again, short distances in day time but after five months was finding it increasingly difficult to manage.
Last December he returned to Nightingale House as a permanent Resident on Wine Household.
“I’m very happy to be here. The care teams are very kind,” he said. “I’m fairly independent, but they always keep an eye on me, checking to see whether I’m alright and if I need anything.”
Alan attends the discussion groups led by students from the psychology team. He appreciates having the space to talk about things that are on his mind.
“I find it cathartic,” he said. “It really helps me.”
Alan has attended author talks and films at Nightingale plus participated in special outings to the Royal Festival Hall for a musical and a day trip to Brighton and Hove with his son as carer.
At mealtimes, he enjoys sitting with residents Bobbie and Frankie whose companionship has become an important part of daily life at Nightingale House.
The newly refurbed café often sees Alan enjoying an afternoon cappuccino and chat with Colette and carers Vivienne or Shamila. Most Sundays he enjoys a social visit with relatives in the café. Weekdays his son takes Alan to feed the waterfowl and a round of the Common. Friday evenings and Shabbat morning Alan is a stalwart at Rafi’s services.
Alan had always dreamt of becoming a mechanical engineer, but his parents were against this career path. Instead, he channelled his passion into restoring classic cars, 1932 and 1954 Wolseleys.
“When the arthritis took hold, I couldn’t manage to hold the tools, so I had to give up. But I am still the Vice President of the Wolseley Register Club,” Alan declared.
Today, Alan still reads car magazines and enjoys TV shows like Bangers and Cash. Alan has channelled his creativity and skill in a new way, through pottery sessions at Nightingale House.
“I don’t think I’m really artistic or much good, but I made a bowl with a floral design. My son loves it and it’s on display at home”, he said proudly.
