Born in the East End above a pub owned by her parents, Sylvia then grew up in Forest Gate surrounded by family. She was just nine years old when the war changed everything. She remembers the frightening sound of doodlebugs overhead and the bombs falling across London. Like so many children of her generation, she was evacuated from the city, travelling with her convent school to Melton Mowbray in Leicestershire.
“It was freezing cold,” she recalls. “There were no carpets, it was terrible. But I managed to get through it.” This determination stayed with Sylvia and has helped her adapt throughout her life.
During the war, Sylvia’s father established a kosher catering business, Schaverein. When Sylvia married, her husband joined the family business. It became a thriving enterprise and family, work and resilience remained constant threads for Sylvia.
“I’m a strong character,” Sylvia says with a smile. “I can stand up for myself.”
It is perhaps that strength that has helped her embrace this latest chapter in her life. Sylvia never imagined she would one day live in a care home but after Harold, her beloved husband of 70 years died, living alone and without support, had become increasingly difficult.
“I don’t miss living in my flat at all,” Sylvia says. “I get my hair and nails done and I’m looked after. It’s a much easier way of life for me.”
Yet the main reason Hammerson House feels special is that her daughter Wendy works there.
“It was a help having Wendy working at Hammerson,” says Sylvia. “She’s my loving daughter and pops in to see me all the time.”
For Wendy, having her mother at Hammerson House brings a huge sense of reassurance. She knows she is safe and well-looked after. Having first volunteered in Residents’ Services, Wendy now works as the Administrator at Hammerson House. Her experience of working alongside older people has given her a deeper understanding of ageing and unexpectedly has changed the way she relates to her own mother.
“Through working here and being involved with older people, I have learned to be much more patient with my own mother,” Wendy admits. “Working here has really helped me to understand what it is like to grow old.”
As the only mother and daughter relationship at Nightingale Hammerson, Wendy has learnt how to navigate the complexities of being both a relative and a colleague.
“Mum is a Resident and I work in the back office,” she explains. “I have to remind myself that work is work and to keep confidentiality, both as a working member of the team and as a relative.”
There has only ever been one other mother and daughter relationship at Nightingale Hammerson. Wendy was able to take advice from the previous member of staff, who is now herself a Resident at Hammerson House. The experience has been much less complicated than she might once have imagined.
“On the whole it hasn’t been difficult to juggle the two roles,” Wendy clarifies. “In fact I act less as a relative as I understand what it is like for all the care teams and I try not to interfere too much!”
For Sylvia, what matters most is feeling safe, cared for and connected to her daughter. For Wendy, it is knowing that her mother is happy and looked after. The bonus is being able to see her more regularly than she ever could when Sylvia was living alone.
