Moving into a care home can be a complex transition for many people. For some Residents, finding their place socially can take time. Men are often in the minority in care home settings. This can make it harder to find companionship with others who share similar experiences, interests and life stories. Without the right opportunities to connect, some may become withdrawn.
Social isolation is a recognised concern among older people, with a significant impact on emotional well-being and quality of life. Research published in Aging & Mental Health highlights how developing a shared social identity through groups such as a men’s club can help counter feelings of isolation and strengthen a sense of belonging.
“Social isolation is of particular concern for men, who are marginalised in long-term care settings as a result of their reduced numbers and greater difficulty in accessing effective social support, relative to women. However, researchers in the social identity tradition argue that developing social group memberships such as a men’s club can counteract the effects of isolation.” Aging & mental Health
This October, Nightingale Hammerson has reintroduced the popular men’s club bringing male Residents together every other week for friendship and conversation. The aim is to create a welcoming space where men can enjoy one another’s company, exchange ideas and feel comfortable being themselves. A relaxed atmosphere makes it easier for men to open up about life transitions, bereavement, health concerns and ageing without stigma or fear of being overwhelmed by the female Residents.
Previous sessions offered a varied and stimulating programme of guest speakers and discussions. Topics included the economy, explored by a leading lecturer; criminal law, presented by a specialist in the field; history, including the Second World War and the weaponry used by British and German forces. These talks helped foster meaningful connections with the wider community beyond Nightingale Hammerson.
Yet the Men’s Club is about much more than listening to talks. It is about the friendships that grow over a cup of tea or a glass of whisky. Whether reminiscing about a career, military service, classic cars, football or family life, Residents have the opportunity to share the stories that have shaped who they are.
For some, however, joining a group does not come easily. Men of an older generation may be less accustomed to talking about loneliness or personal challenges, whilst those who are naturally shy may find the thought of walking into an established group quite daunting. Even a well-intentioned invitation, can sometimes feel like pressure rather than an opportunity. It is essential to remove the pressure to speak by reminding the Residents they are welcome to sit in the corner, drink a whisky and simply listen to the others.
David Singleton, Engagement Lead, understands the importance of making that first step as comfortable as possible. He takes a gentle, individual approach, offering simple, low-pressure ways to become involved. Volunteers who know the Residents can also help make the experience of a Men’s Club feel less intimidating.
“The aim of the new format is to help the men living at Hammerson House get to know each other and feel less isolated,” David says. “ I hope to be able to give the male Residents a space where they can form closer relationships with each other.”
There is no expectation to speak or participate before someone feels ready. Residents are reassured that they can sit back, enjoy a drink and simply listen, knowing they are free to leave whenever they wish. Sometimes, that is all it takes. A familiar subject, an interesting comment that sparks a memory can naturally draw someone into the conversation.
This gentle approach recognises that everyone is different. For one Resident, success might mean sharing a story with the group. For another, it might simply mean feeling comfortable enough to come through the door and stay for a while. Both are important steps towards building connections.
At Nightingale Hammerson, the reconvened Men’s Club will reflect the importance of creating opportunities for Residents to build meaningful relationships and continue to feel part of a community. A group of male friends who are familiar with the Residents will run the discussions and introduce topics such as politics and world events.
David hopes the strong, pre-existing bond and camaraderie of the three volunteers, will expand into the group so that friendships can flourish.
“No one needs to feel they have to face later life alone,” David adds. “Sometimes, the greatest value of a group lies not in the talk being given, but in the conversations that follow and the friendships that flourish.”
